Fortunate Fridays {The Week I did something daring}

This week was full of surprises and I kept calling it my "best week ever YET" in my head.

I am feeling so much better about everything (one day at the time).
I have a feeling a lot of amazing things are in store.

And here is what I am feeling fortunate for this week--

{Including but not limited to}:

1. I FINALLY had the courage to quit my job after 8+ years in the industry and knowing (long ago) that this is not a field I wanted to be in (ahhhh!!!!!!) <--More on this coming up. I have A LOT to say on this one. Long post coming up. 5.21.14

2. My mom returned safe and sound from the Dominican Republic (and brought goodies)

3. The fact that I am learning how to be resilient in life, which is a great trait to have

4. I am currently doing business consulting for a company called "Brooklyn Sesame" and got some freebies during one of the meetings. Not only that but I ran in to the product at my local Whole Foods. #socool

 

 

 

5. Running again and reminding myself how incredibly AMAZING endorphins are :). I think I mentally solved all my problems after a few nice runs at the gym this week. Is incredible how perspective can switch to something positive after a couple of sweaty miles.

6. My sister is my new neighboor! And she came to visit me :) Love, love, love having her so close!

7. Spring break was over this week but the majority of my classes were cancelled! We are now on the last stretch of the semester! And school!

Now is friday afternoon and simply enjoying some yummy berries while wrapping up the work week.

 

 Quote of the week:

Tell me, what are YOU feeling fortunate for this week? Weekend plans?

Fortunate Friday {Good Friday Edition}

Hello dear friends!

It is good Friday today. To all of my dear Catholics out there, a day to reflect and to be thankful for everything that the one up above did and does for us. I am missing my mom as she is out of the country visiting her family. We would go to church every good Friday and take part in all of the activities.  I may have to do that on my own this weekend. My grandma is having a family dinner this evening so, looking forward to that.

I took today off from work to catch up on school work and to at least enjoy one day from my so called "spring break" without having to rush around and just to find some time to relax.

I woke up super late today catching up on sleep and then enjoyed a yummy breakfast.

In addition to the above noted "tasks" my apartment is in some serious need of deep cleaning and I may also go grocery shopping. I also woke up with the strange urge to purchase new sheets, a new comforter, new underwear, new everything! I may even paint my apartment (having painted it since I moved there over 2 years ago!).

 I've also been on some serious need of getting a bookshelf for the gazillion books I have at my place but I am not sure if that will take place today. I am just excited to "revive"  my apartment. and myself. :)

Will keep you all updated, of course.

Without further 'ado here is what I am feeling fortunate for this week:

1. God's unconditional love in my life and the feeling that I know for a fact he is always looking out for me. I cant explain it but when things are chaotic in my life and then when they finally fall in to place {sometimes miraculously} things make perfect sense and I cant attribute that to anyone else but the one up above! 

2. Co-workers that become amazing friends-- Not sure how this happened but I have become very close with one of my co-workers whom is fairly new. She has been such an amazing support system and I just feel so positive and optimistic around her. That's when you know you've met a good person!

3. Uplifting radio shows that motivate me-- I listen to a motivational show on Spanish radio which always manages to put a smile on my face. Do you listen to any uplifting shows?

4. The courage to talk to one of my managers about something (will share the topic on a post coming soon).

5. Finally finding Almond Butter!! (Quick Trip to Trader Joes)-- I made a gazillion trips to the whole food by my job with no lunch and yesterday I finally found my beloved almond butter during a trip to TJs! I also picked up a few staple items.

6. The time I've had to reflect on my experiences and getting to know myself better (does that process ever end?)

7. Optimism towards the future, finally feeling good again.

8. Things finally making sense, and self-forgiveness!

9. The courage to be more open on the blog (super freeing!)

As you may all have heard, one of the best known authors of the world, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, passed a way yesterday. I read several of his books growing up and I was very, very saddened by the news. I dedicate today's 'quote of the week' to one of his best sayings:

"What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it". GGM

Tell me,
1. Do you listen to any uplifting shows or podcasts? Please share!
2. Any plans for the weekend?

Thoughts from the Soul Thursday

I went through a painful breakup recently.

It took me some time to realize that it was over considering I still lingered with the idea of getting back together. I would wake up and constantly think about what I could have, should have, or shouldn’t have done and with incredible feelings of regret that would try to take over my mind at least every 5 minutes. The pain and suffering came as contractions. I haven’t had a baby yet but from my understanding; contractions first come slowly and then come very close together until eventually the birth happens (this is a very condensed version). 

 

In my case, and as it probably is in these kind of situations, it was the other way around. The contractions right after the breakup where VERY close together. I would be perfectly okay for a few minutes and then the excruciating pain, suffering; regret would come again-- Unannounced and aggressively. One of the main reasons for this was the fact that I remained hopeful that things would turn around. Although being hopeful brought some brief relieve; it wasn't long until the pain would gear its ugly head again. I soon realized holding on to the idea of what we were was not taking me anywhere.

The good thing about any kind of significant suffering in life is that time heals everything. Things may hurt like no tomorrow for some time until they no longer have an effect on us. I am not here to sugar coat anything. Memories hurt. The idea of "what could have been" hurts. Having to fill the void of someone you got so accustomed to hurts. Deleting future plans from your mind hurts. The thought of waking up in the morning and having to face reality hurts. For some time even going to sleep on an empty bed hurt like hell. But then it doesn’t hurt anymore. And that’s probably one of the most liberating feelings in the world! Welcome peace, & serenity. Welcome. I missed you.

The bad news—having to pick up the pieces of your heart, put them back together, and live again. The best part? Living again! Is all how you look at it, see? I was so consumed in this relationship that things that made me happy took a back seat. In other words, I stopped doing every single thing that brought me joy when I was single: Running, blogging, reading magazines, watching my favorite shows, being joyful and optimistic, planning for the future. I don’t blame him for that. I blame myself. Why? Because I replaced all those things that brought me joy with a person and then I expected that one person to bring me just as much (or more joy) than the things that intrinsically made me happy when I was on my own. If that’s not the key to unhappiness I don’t know what is.

Yes. There were red flags from the very beginning. We started off as friends and I knew the type of person he was prior to us getting romantically involved. However, in love you take chances and that’s what I did and I don’t regret it. In retrospect, I knew better but I decided to listen to my heart and you know what--- that’s TOTALLY okay. Is life. Life ends. We have to live it. I just have to remember to take my brain with me next time I want to jump in to something without a parachute.

One of the main things I learned from this relationship:

1. My happiness depends on me and me alone. Giving up the things that made me happy and replacing them with a person and then placing the responsibility on that person to make me happy will only take me down one road (the one I was on when things ended).

2. People are who they are and they don’t change. The more we push a person to change the more complicated things will get and the more arguments that will arise. People change when THEY want to change and IF they want to never because anyone is forcing them to be a certain way. We either accept the person as they are, put up with whatever it is that bother us and "hope" that one day things will change…or we simply walk away.

3. If you can clearly identify a pattern of the type of people that constantly break your heart; you’ve won 80% of the battle! (The other 20% is not falling in to the same pattern again).

4. It is true what they say--- never, ever, ever, go to bed angry with your significant other. If its someone you want a long term future with (otherwise, who cares ;).

For some time I wanted to hold on because the idea of letting go and starting fresh was too painful. The idea of transition was painful. Today I accept that I had to go through that pain but also realize that the pain was illogical because I wasn’t happy, most of the time I was miserable, and I knew it! Yet I still wanted to hold on to the idea of what "could be". And that was probably my biggest misconception.

So how did I heal? It wasn’t easy at first and it takes time but I promise you that the other side is wonderful and it will wait for you with open arms.

"When someone leaves is because someone else is about to arrive". -Coelho

The strangest thing is that once that was over someone asked me out almost immediately. The person that asked me out didn’t even know I had a boyfriend so it had nothing to do with me announcing to the world that I was ‘newly single’. Although I was very flattered I declined because it was too soon and I knew in my heart that I needed some time to heal and be okay on my own again. My point is that I am almost certain that when we finally let go of something that’s not currently meant to be in our lives we open up the doors for things that should be. I like to think of it as clearing the space for my true destiny—whatever that may be. And It may be scary but is also exciting.

Exciting > Scary

Until I am ready to date again and reunite with the love of my life I will be keeping occupied by doing the following activities; including but not limited to:

Working out




Cleaning out my fridge (and my apartment) of any reminders of that person




Going grocery shopping for fresh produce! Goodbye orange juice!




Food prepping




Writing out a workout schedule for myself




Planning trips to visit people around the US



Planning dates with my friends (the ones who remain)




Watching my favorite shows while browsing my favorite magazines




Learning to cook with mom




Spending quality time with family and loved ones



Taking care of myself inside and out





Meditating (Finnally try some Yoga?!)



Meeting new friends




Meeting new people



Moving forward

The future is bright!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am happy. One day this will be a very distant memory. I choose Joy :)

I share this not for any kind of pity but because I am sure there is someone out there that can relate and make feel peace from reading this right now. We are never alone!

As for my ex, he is not a bad person. I hold no grudges. I have no regrets. Maybe we will go back to being good friends or maybe we’ll go back to being acquaintances or maybe the future may have different plans for us. Maybe the love will blossom again one day under different circumstances. Only God knows!

One thing I know for sure is that when people are meant to end up together there is nothing that will keep them apart and when they are not, the opposite is also true. So I move forward in peace, leaving the rest in God’s hands and with this, I finally let go and and I fly...