Confessions

Sooo I have a confession to make. When my exams ended apparently I decided it was party time and I broke loose. What do I mean by this? Well, I retrieved to my old ways of eating processed carbs every 5 minutes, grabbing every appetizing looking items in my fridge and devouring it. I completely "forgot" I had gym membership, pretty much forgot I had a life. The result? Im sitting here with about 10-15 pounds more than I had during my last blog entry.

Am I exaggerating? not really. I actually tend to gain weight easily. Not because of any health issues or anything wrong with my metabolism. My body is actually GREAT to me when I treat it like the temple it is. However, when I abuse it, it reacts. I like to think is all water weight because I gain it so fast and is all a result of me giving in to my cravings more than the average person.

...And, just like every single time I loose control over my food I also feel as if Im loosing control of my life. My attitude is making me suffer at work and also in my personal life. Im taking an "easy" summer class which is the reason why that part of my current life has not been affected yet.

However, Ive gotten out of this rot before and I plan to do it again. I just wish I knew the formula to be able to loose the weight and keep it off....for good!!! without having to deal with this back and forth so much.

What I dislike the most is that, as much as I want to pretend is my own personal/mental problem, people do notice. Some people even have the nerve to comment on my weight fluctuations!! How dare them?!? :D people need to mind their business. Right guys? LOL

Anyways, a couple of days ago I was reading Lori's blog: Finding Radiance (http://www.findingradiance.com/). In one of her entries, she talks about her 100 pound weight loss and how she's been able to keep that off for several years. She was recently celebrating her "weight loss anniversary". I thought that was so amazing and so motivational. It made me think...if she can loose 100 pounds and keep it off for good, why cant I loose 20 -25 (which is what I feel I really need to loose)...and do the same??? It can be done. I just need to find my purpose in life (other than eating 24/7) and stay away from the sugar monster that's in my brain. yes. Its a monster and it attacks....Im sure some of you can relate and know what I'm talking about.

Ok so I really need to go to bed but I'm motivated. Blogging really helps me vent and makes me feel better about the situation. Im sure there are many out there that can relate to my situation. Thank god for freedom of speech. God bless whoever came up with the blogging idea. :0)

Nonetheless, as the song says: "....Dust yourself off and try again." That's exactly what I'm doing.

PS: I have not forgotten about the N.C photos. The truth is I am using my sister's computer and I do feel bad dumping hundreds of photos from my camera and in to her laptop. But im getting creative in finding a way to upload them. I think I found a solution.

Love you guys! thanks for reading.

Mabelle